Adam, before a game of Apples to Apples at a dinner party tonight. Apparently this mix-up has happened before. (via rach)
apples to apples: an extremely, extremely fun game. but on friday night, to match the word ‘quiet’, i put my ‘helen keller’ card down. sad and offensive? extremely…i still feel bad about it. :/
(via missbrightside)whitewhine:
“When booking a squash court, it’s ONE hour. Not one hour and, “oh, sorry, can we just finish up?”
-Whine by Randy Stevenson
Wow there, chill little squasher. No need to get your headband all in a twist.
(Via NewsAsGossip.blogspot.com)
heyitseva:
Zach and I have this idea for a little book of backhanded compliments. So far we have only worked out some standard ones ( winning “most improved”, “You have completely exceeded my expectations.”, “Who did your makeup?”), and some fat jokes (“I have a lot of friends, but you outweigh them all.”)
What are some of your favorites?
Others…I like your hair, especially the color at the roots.
Those blackheads form the cutest pattern!
You’re smart to do your laundry on Saturday night, when everyone else is out.
You have the greatest untapped potential of anyone I’ve ever dated.
I like your shoes. They look really comfortable.
I’m so jealous you don’t have to wear a bra everyday.
It’s so refreshing to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t feel the need to prove they are smart.
That tasted better than it looked.
You look so nice today, I almost didn’t recognize you.
Great haircut! It really slims your face.
And my favorite: Yeah, but in four years, he’ll be just another college graduate looking for a job. You’ll be a Home Depot assistant manager with four years of work experience.
confessionizer:
sometimes i truly do think i’m the shit. i mean, you can’t help when you’re completely surrounded by dumb people.
For our purposes, let’s say that the center of the moral universe is in Room S-3800 of the UN Secretariat, Manhattan. From here, you are some five hours from being able to negotiate the sale, in broad daylight, of a healthy boy or girl. Your slave will come in any color you like, as Henry Ford said, as long as it’s black. Maximum age: fifteen. He or she can be used for anything. Sex or domestic labor are the most frequent uses, but it’s up to you.
Before you go, let’s be clear on what you are buying. A slave is a human being who is forced to work through fraud or threat of violence for no pay beyond subsistence. Agreed? Good. You may have thought you missed your chance to own a slave. Maybe you imagined that slavery died along with the 360,000 Union soldiers whose blood fertilized the Emancipation Proclamation and the Thirteenth Amendment. Perhaps you assumed that there was meaning behind the dozen international conventions banning the slave trade, or that the deaths of 30 million people in world wars had spread freedom across the globe.
But you’re in luck. By our mere definition, you are living at a time when there are more slaves than at any point in history. If -you’re going to buy one in five hours, however, you’ve really got to stop navel—gazing over things like law and the moral advance of humanity. Get a move on.