“Bottom line: I guess there is a big difference between being a youth volunteer and volunteering with youth. Dyslexia strikes again”—Me [upon unexpectedly realizing I am not a shoe in to be a big sister because I haven’t had any experience working with youth that wasn’t related since I was in high school … maybe]
Dunkin Donuts vs. Starbucks Democrats [LINK]npr.org
Already we hear people trying to make us aware of our coffee choices and the impact of our decisions. We are asked to consider the hormones in the milk, the caffeine, the plastic/paper waste, the fair trade issues, etc. But what does your coffee shop choice say about your national politics?
On my way to the ski hill I had a flat, two blocks from my house. I couldn’t get the flat off, I couldn’t get the spare off. I paid $50 to tow it into the garage and have them fix it. They were done by 2:30. I missed a day of superb skiing. At least, that’s what everyone told me at the pub that night. I bought a beer and got this five dollar bill back in change. Guess I wasn’t the only one getting flats. FOUND by Tom Kraft in Canada [via www.foundmagazine.com]
Pat and Jeff have a great article on CollegeHumor about cinematic sub-sub-genres such as “Detective, your new partner is a dog” movies. It features such words as “felonious” so you know it’s well-written. And hey, if anyone feels like digging it, that would be nice.*
*I promise I won’t turn this blog into a list of things for people to Digg but I really, really think this article deserves to be seen by the wider world. My apologies for being lame.
In case you were wondering, I have received independent confirmation by a Toyota outsider that it is never not Toyotathon. “Don’t worry about missing it,” my source wrote on a napkin, “It’s the longest continually running ”-athon" in the history of mankind. Also, there is no difference between when it’s Toyotathon and not because it’s all the same cars. However, this should in no way take away from the great event that is ’Nissanuary.’“
Zach and I have this idea for a little book of backhanded compliments. So far we have only worked out some standard ones ( winning “most improved”, “You have completely exceeded my expectations.”, “Who did your makeup?”), and some fat jokes (“I have a lot of friends, but you outweigh them all.”)
What are some of your favorites?
Others…I like your hair, especially the color at the roots.
Those blackheads form the cutest pattern!
You’re smart to do your laundry on Saturday night, when everyone else is out.
You have the greatest untapped potential of anyone I’ve ever dated.
I like your shoes. They look really comfortable.
I’m so jealous you don’t have to wear a bra everyday.
It’s so refreshing to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t feel the need to prove they are smart.
That tasted better than it looked.
You look so nice today, I almost didn’t recognize you.
Great haircut! It really slims your face.
And my favorite: Yeah, but in four years, he’ll be just another college graduate looking for a job. You’ll be a Home Depot assistant manager with four years of work experience.
Let justice ring and let my junk mail folder be forever empty [Link]npr.org
It’s good to know with all that is going on in the world today that we have not lost sight of what really matters. We are keeping our attentions on the small shit that drives us crazy and instead of getting all riled up over crimes that matter but are tough to solve. As always, our resources have been well allocated. I expect this will send a clear message to spammers everywhere and they will finally now just how serious this offense really is.
For our purposes, let’s say that the center of the moral universe is in Room S-3800 of the UN Secretariat, Manhattan. From here, you are some five hours from being able to negotiate the sale, in broad daylight, of a healthy boy or girl. Your slave will come in any color you like, as Henry Ford said, as long as it’s black. Maximum age: fifteen. He or she can be used for anything. Sex or domestic labor are the most frequent uses, but it’s up to you.
Before you go, let’s be clear on what you are buying. A slave is a human being who is forced to work through fraud or threat of violence for no pay beyond subsistence. Agreed? Good. You may have thought you missed your chance to own a slave. Maybe you imagined that slavery died along with the 360,000 Union soldiers whose blood fertilized the Emancipation Proclamation and the Thirteenth Amendment. Perhaps you assumed that there was meaning behind the dozen international conventions banning the slave trade, or that the deaths of 30 million people in world wars had spread freedom across the globe.
But you’re in luck. By our mere definition, you are living at a time when there are more slaves than at any point in history. If -you’re going to buy one in five hours, however, you’ve really got to stop navel—gazing over things like law and the moral advance of humanity. Get a move on.
”—Benjamin Skinner [Excerpt: ‘A Crime So Monstrous: Face-to-Face with Modern-Day Slavery’]
“President Bush said it’s now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now in Iraq, the economy is collapsing, businessmen are corrupt, and Hussein wants his son to take over as president. Sounds like mission accomplished.”—Jay Leno
“…at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, “Not this time.” This time, we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time, we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can’t learn; that those kids who don’t look like us are somebody else’s problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.”—Barack Obama
“My, my, my, my music hits me so hard
Makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me
With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet
Feels good when you know you’re down
A superdope homeboy from the Oaktown
And I’m known
And this is a beat uh you can’t touch”